I have been woking for eight days in a row...in the last five did not sleep more than 4 hours on the average...But I have been in Budapest, that is actually a city with some rare magic...I think it is on the top three of my favourite European cities...
The faces of people over there, especially those who are a bit older (60), speak about history, changes, the time going by...I could sit for hours in a cafe in Pest and just look at the faces of the guests...
I will do it soon, and if any of you wants to join me, you are welcome...

I have been five days away from Berlin and as soon as you are back, you realize how many people are just taking drugs as a way (the only one)to enjoy their free time...I find it so boring, oh man...

Yesterday I have been to the concert of this girl, it was fine...but once more my friends and I had to discuss with some super boring German guests, who think they should have the same silence at the concert like the one they get listening the Cd at their boring, Ikea styled, with fucking Beck´s filled up apartments...shame on them and vive la vie!

Flying to Spain in one hour, trying to sum up some reasoning out of this six weeks of work and alcohol as never in my life before...she is still there all around me, cannot avoid that from happening...she is there whenever a small bite of beauty comes to me, when something extraordinary happens, when something very ordinary happens, when I am happy, when I am lonely, when I think I am over and I am not...lately she comes in my dreams pretty frequently too...

She does not know that, I do not dare to ask how she is or what she is doing there..I am so scared, really really scared, man how scared I am, that she is doing great..I am scared that some days (too) soon she will be back here and show me once more she is all I would like to have from a woman...I know it is still like that, but at least there is no visual implications so far...

You say sadness, I say sure

Bad thoughts running around at night,
A sense of inappropriate emptiness,
A creeping obsession with the past,
A loss of time,
Classes not taken,
Packs of cigarettes smoked,
once more,
The silence all around,
in the office, home, on the street
a telephone ringing
but very seldom,
calls from the old same good people.
An anger sedated only by loads of drinks,
every second day, since ages.

New Stuff I Have Been Lately Listening To

Mission of Burma - Signals, Calls, and Marches
Adele - 19
The Kills - Midnight Boom
The Gutter Twins - Saturnalia
Turandot - Puccini

Spiritual - Soulsavers

Jesus, I don't wanna die alone
Jesus oh Jesus I don't wanna die alone
My love was untrue
Now all I have is you
Jesus oh Jesus I don't wanna die alone
Jesus, I don't wanna die alone
Jesus oh Jesus I don't wanna die alone
My love was untrue
Now all I have is you
Jesus oh Jesus I don't wanna die alone
Jesus, Jesus
All my trouble
All my pain
Will leave me once again alone

Is there is something wrong with me? Am I too complicated? Did I get spoiled through my own doubts and distrust of all these things lately?
It is still so fucking cold in here...

Zwischen alten und neuen Sachen fühlt sich man einsam

Love - Love
The Walkabouts - Train leaves at eight
Soulsavers - It is not how far you fall it´s the way you land
The Drones - Wait Long By The River And The Bodies Of Your Enemies Will Float By
Love - Da Capo
Stephen Malkmus - Real Emotional Trash

17th is my number

Today is March, the 17th...

1. March, the 17th 2006: I came to Berlin with luggage, a guitar and 600 euro.
2. February, the 17th 2007: I ended my European voluntary project.
3. March, the 17th 2007: I took a flight from Düsseldorf to Sydney.
4. April, the 17th 2007: I came back in Hamburg
5. November, the 17th 2007: instead of enjoying an Interpol concert, we decided to take a break.
6. February, the 17th 2008: she left Berlin for Bologna.
7. March, the 17th 2008: I am back from a two-days-trip in Hamburg and think I miss it all.

Tuesday in the Gneisenaustrasse

There have been no great news in the last period...
The best I can write is as follows:

I am going to Hamburg on Saturday morning for the week-end...unfortunately alone.
I bought a cool bicycle today: Spring is coming....
I saw Band of Horses in a club yesterday: I liked them, and my eyes got even wet a couple of times...
I am going to Spain in April for a week, by myself...
I do not like the last album by Nick Cave and the B.S....boring...
I am not going to Italy until August, fortunately.
The song "Revival" by the Soulsavers, with M. Lanegan singing is hitting my head non-stop since Saturday night...and it is cool...
I want to see a W.Allen´s movie I have not seen yet.
I deserve more good sex.
I am still in love.

The wireless internet connection for free is back!

slippery slippery slippery slope

Don't walk the plank like I did
You will be dispensed with
When you've become inconvenient
In the harrowdown hill
Where you went to school
That's where I am
That's where I'm lying down

Did I fall or was I pushed?
Did I fall or was I pushed?
And where's the blood?
And where's the blood?

I'm coming home
I'm coming home
To make it all right
So dry your eyes

We think the same things at the same time
We just cant do anything about it

So don't ask me
Ask the ministry
Don't ask me
Ask the ministry

We think the same things at the same time
There are so many of us
So you can't count

We think the same things at the same time
There are too many of us
So you can't count

Can you see me when I'm running?
Can you see me when I'm running?
Away from them

I can't take their pressure
No one cares if you live or die
They just want me gone
They want me gone

I'm coming home
I'm coming home
To make it all right
So dry your eyes

We think the same things at the same time
We just cant do anything about it

We think the same things at the same time
There are too many of us
So you can't count

It was a slippery slippery slippery slope
It was a slippery slippery slippery slope
I feel me slipping in and out of consciousness

Monday in the Zossener strasse

I am sitting in a cafe, pretending to have something to do with my mac...my external hard drive broke up...pictures gone, music gone...realized that it is no good thing to have such a big part of your own memories stuck in a stupi sequence of 0 1 0 1...
Pretty awkward from me...
I hope everybody is doing better that I do.

Friday, just before the beginning of the end

I am nervous...for no reason, but nervous....and this week-end looks like a pretty boring one...I miss almost everything I got a year ago...and the few good new things I have got are definitely not enough...
Mr. Berlusconi is still able to tell so many bullshits in one hour...amazing...I guess he has no contender in this special field...

they tell us all the time that change is the answer, but there are moments in our life when we should feel/realize that we have all you want ...why then not taking things for what they wonderfully are, damned....why why why...???
Because we are afraid of once-for-all choices.........alternative, open, brand new, doomed, replacable, limited in time...all these adjectives are very popular and over rated nowadays, think about it...apparently we do have to think that everything can be better, all the time...I would like to hear, at least once from time to time, that we are not - fortunately - gonna live forever; that the best, maybe, is yet to come but that the best is not the absolute, is not the fucking dream that comes true...

Decisions should be taken, risks should be taken too!...once in a lifetime speeches should be screamed...and honesty should play the main role on the fucking stage of everybody´s own life...
Please, let us stop thinking that there will always be something better, cooler or whatever you say...
Because it is true that there it could be, but at the same time that is NOT gonna happen, ever...because the best is just what we have in this fucking, actual, tough - but real - life and not something sponsored by mastercard rather than easy jet...
The dream should be to do our best and not to expect the best from the universe, damned you kids born with Nutella, Barbie/Kenn and Coca Cola....
I wish to all of you to feel expirable for a second...it helps landing back on this planet...

Unkoordinierte Gedanken

Three weeks ago I left them on the table of a bar, just like that...did not realize I had lost them until it was two in the morning...I had to sleep at the restaurant...
Two weeks ago I left them home, but at least this time I thought about it all of the sudden...could not do anything, though since I had to go to work...but fortunately I met a girl that evening and spent the night at her place...
Today I left them home, once more: only when I went back from shopping I noticed my keys were not in my pocket...
I learnt to open my door without them (it is easier than you think, as long as your door is old-fashioned) and also to leave a copy in a safe place somewhere else...at least that, no?

Where is my mind?

The 10th time in Detroit

Allied Media Conference.

Fund raising during the primaries

A very smart interactive data graphic

feathers, strings, whiskers...no focus...

When as a kid it happened to me to feel lonesome, I was sure that i could talk with my pillow: I talked for hours, i was sure that it could listen and keep my thoughts for the best...I am not sure I still have the same one, though i still have one with feathers...it is unlikely that it is the same...

When I grew up a bit, I started thinking that I could do the same with my guitar, which I was playing so much that it could have even made sense...it got a name, but no clear personality, unfortunately...

After the guitar came the cats: first mine then my girlfriend´s, this last one being the most relaxed creature of the planet...that is why I thought it could be a good listener...may he was...for sure not a good advisor...

In the last years I lost confidence in this kind of confessions, and though you could think that it is better so, I strongly doubt about it...Right now I am looking all around in my room, while listening the National from 2005, considering which object should be next...or should I get another cat?

That is the reason why since months I am having a conversation with myself: it is mostly a try to get some questions answered, always the same few in the end; it usually starts early in the morning, experiences a couple of long breaks during the day due to work or reading/studying, keeps on till late at night...yesterday I was so into the conversation while having sex...scaring.

It seems my mind is still floating somewhere else as my immanent reality, for most of the time it tries to function properly...

I am going to Budapest for work between the 18th and the 2oth of April...if anybody wants an apartment in Berlin for a week-end in spring, just let me know.

Our new Master Programme in European Studies: ONLINE!

A 2-year master programme starts in September 2008. If you are interested or think somebody you know could be, please forward this link.
We have candies and chocolate bars waiting for you, if you help us!

Crazy Dunks

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_EFMTEpOeG4&feature=related

I guess the link on the right column "Bologna University, My ex-university", should be replaced by "Bologna University, my ex´s university"...small things make life pretty amazing, uh...?
Oh man