A personal recount of a life within Berlin, Venice and the EU

Thursday, February 21, 2008

feathers, strings, whiskers...no focus...

When as a kid it happened to me to feel lonesome, I was sure that i could talk with my pillow: I talked for hours, i was sure that it could listen and keep my thoughts for the best...I am not sure I still have the same one, though i still have one with feathers...it is unlikely that it is the same...

When I grew up a bit, I started thinking that I could do the same with my guitar, which I was playing so much that it could have even made sense...it got a name, but no clear personality, unfortunately...

After the guitar came the cats: first mine then my girlfriend´s, this last one being the most relaxed creature of the planet...that is why I thought it could be a good listener...may he was...for sure not a good advisor...

In the last years I lost confidence in this kind of confessions, and though you could think that it is better so, I strongly doubt about it...Right now I am looking all around in my room, while listening the National from 2005, considering which object should be next...or should I get another cat?

That is the reason why since months I am having a conversation with myself: it is mostly a try to get some questions answered, always the same few in the end; it usually starts early in the morning, experiences a couple of long breaks during the day due to work or reading/studying, keeps on till late at night...yesterday I was so into the conversation while having sex...scaring.

It seems my mind is still floating somewhere else as my immanent reality, for most of the time it tries to function properly...

I am going to Budapest for work between the 18th and the 2oth of April...if anybody wants an apartment in Berlin for a week-end in spring, just let me know.

No comments: