nah ja...

What kind of person am I (become)? After more than a year in Berlin I have not created anything similar to a circle of friends or anything like acquaintances...sounds terrible even to me that I write it now...there have been the few European volunteers I have been in a good contact with: they are all gone: they were very few anyway...there have been the few people I knew in here...I guess I can count them on one hand...none of them is listed as a friend...and I am listening to my inner feelings...the few friends are those who were friends even before I came in here...not a good sign.

So considering the fact that I cannot complain about the absence of chances to know new people in such a big city, I guess I have to turn to myself...it is not about the environment.
I am probably changed a lot: I can hardly stand company for longer than an half an hour if I get to think that the conversation is not bringing me anywhere, unless it is the first time I talk to this person, or unless I am in a very good mood - in such a situation that usually happens seldom...I feel also scared by the choice of the topic: in such situations I am often looking for a new topic to talk about all the time...Even when I feel I could have never ending monologues, I can hardly keep on for more than a couple of minutes...could it be listed as depression? I actually feel very well and I do read and learn new stuff with pleasure everyday....but I turn into something really misanthropical with such an big ease...
I have spent most of the last months either alone or with one person...in the last days I realized that it happens kind of often that I do not say a word for eight or ten hours in a row...that is scaring, mostly because I find it relaxing and not so uncomfortable...
Fortunately I start a new work experience on Monday: I guess I shall have to speak a bit more with people, just people...