Bye bye Sydney

Adieu

Voyeurs?

I posted more stuff lately...unfortunately we are still by a quite mediocre 1 reaction every fifth post, on the average...not very interactive...apparently readers are more than those who post...that is nice to know...
I wonder whether I should change the "whole policy" of this blog and make it "spicier"...
Ill give this thought a try then, let us see what happens...
All I can say, in my first attempt to bring some fresh air into this, is that tonight I have a date...
It is the first time that it happens since October 2006...so I guess it is really big news...

I woke up at 5.15 a.m. this morning: I am not sure Ill be very brilliant tonight...whatever, the girl is really interesting.
A hug for the whole of you...

Because........

Why is J. Johnson so famous?
Why are Italian voters so damned stubborn?
Why does every sunday newspaper bullshit about food recipes?
Why are Germans so stiff?
Why will the Olympics take place in Beijing?
Why is London so expensive?
Why do Turkish men drive only BMW cars?
Why do Swiss people talk so funny any of the languages they are supposed to know?
Why is Venice so empty?
Why is San Francisco so far away?
Why does Haneke make another "Funny Games"?
Why doesn´t my flatmate like cats?
Why is Lausitzerstrasse always on the spot?

I talk to the wind

There is no reason in drinking so much...there is not even a need for it...it just happens...I am really proud of myself tonight because at half past 2 I took the way home...
The new album from Portishead does not belong to the present, not even to the future...such a huge disappointment...
I miss playing, laughing, being in vacation and she. Period.

Recent readings

Vonnegut - Slaughterhouse-Five
Arendt - Eichmann in Jerusalem
McEwan - On Chesil Beach
McEwan - Enduring Love
Hobsbawm - On the Edge of the New Century

Posting and being posted...

"I think most people who maintain blogs are doing it for some of the same reasons I do: they like the idea that there’s a place where a record of their existence is kept — a house with an always-open door where people who are looking for you can check on you, compare notes with you and tell you what they think of you."
Have a look

Bemerkungen um ein langweiliges Leben

I smoked a cigarette this afternoon while working and met by chance an italian girl who is working in another Insitute, just in front of mine. She studied the same as I, in the same small and depressing city (Forlí) but started three years and a half ago. Well, you know what happened, she asked me if she could use the informal language with me (in German you can either use the second singular person - informal - or the third plural - formal...in italian is something similar)...
Do I look so old? Serious I do look for sure...that is more a feeling than a anything else...anyway it has been really surprising...
Actually I have been talking with a couple of friends about my dark circles around the eyes on saturday night...apparently some people think already they are a sort of permanent feature of my look...that is probably true but kind of sad at the same time...
Is there a way to get rid of those? Is there a way to be 27 years old and not think that the best is somehow gone, at some point of somebody´s life that we are not actually able to remember?
It would be cool to be like the main character of this book I am reading: able to let his mind fly back and forth throughout his own life, having consciousness of what went first and what afterwards, but in the condition of flying back to some older moments and consider them again...(by the way, the book is from Vonnegut and I am not sure this character looks really "normal"...enough of this).
The history of Riga and Charchow today, Peter the Great tomorrow...the only 2 new issues I am coping with so far...peace.

I'm waiting for the train
Subway that only goes one way
The stupid thing that'll come to pull us apart
And make everybody late
You spent everything you had
Wanted everything to stop that bad
Now I'm a crashed credit card registered to Smith -
Not the name that you called me with
You turned white like a saint
I'm tired of dancing on a pot of gold-flaked paint
Oh we're so very precious, you and I
And everything that you do makes me want to die
Oh I just told the biggest lie
I just told the biggest lie
The biggest lie

Show me the dirt pile
And I will pray that the soul can take
Three stowaways
You vanish with no guile
And I will not pay
But the soul can wait
The soul can wait
Well it is still pretty wet
With all these leaks
We’ll be fine
We’ll be fine
But if it’s still pretty wet
With all these leaks
We'll be fine, oh
And supervised
Show me the dirt pile
And I will pray that the soul can take
Three stowaways
And you vanish with no guile
And I will not pay
But the soul can wait
I felt you so much today
I know you try
You tried straight into my heart
You fly straight into my heart
Girl, I know you try
You fly straight into my heart
You fly straight into my heart
But here comes the fault...
So much for make believe, I'm not sold
So much of dreams deceive, I'm not prepared to know
Your heart makes me feel
Your heart makes me bold
For always and ever, I'll never let go
Always concealed
Safe and inside, alive!
Show me the dirt pile
And I will pray that the soul can take
Three stowaways
In a passion it broke
I pull the black from the grey
But the soul can wait
I felt you so much today...

Back on track

I moved in the new apartement with my friend Marthe...the flat is soo huge and sunny and empty in equal parts...
I live in hier, in the most turkish part of Berlin , apparently...

University began again and the courses are much better, now that I finally managed to change the main subject and landed to history, leaving the boring stuff about path dependency, insitutionalism and transition/transformation...fuck yeah!

I have been in Spain for a week, visited so many beautiful places, that I could hardly believe it! Sevilla is an amazing city, I think I would like to fall in love again in that city, if that is ever gonna happen...the sea, the food, my friends there, the dry and sunny weather have been amazing...I would higly recommend to update your priority list concerning travels and find a way to plan a visit to Andalusia: it just rocks!

The new apartment has a small but cozy extra room, so if you want to come and stay in Berlin for a while, you know you just have to let me know on time and you are welcome.

Working and studying and working keeps me busy and that is all I can wish for myself right now...the rest will come someday.

I guess that is it!
take care.

I have been woking for eight days in a row...in the last five did not sleep more than 4 hours on the average...But I have been in Budapest, that is actually a city with some rare magic...I think it is on the top three of my favourite European cities...
The faces of people over there, especially those who are a bit older (60), speak about history, changes, the time going by...I could sit for hours in a cafe in Pest and just look at the faces of the guests...
I will do it soon, and if any of you wants to join me, you are welcome...

I have been five days away from Berlin and as soon as you are back, you realize how many people are just taking drugs as a way (the only one)to enjoy their free time...I find it so boring, oh man...

Yesterday I have been to the concert of this girl, it was fine...but once more my friends and I had to discuss with some super boring German guests, who think they should have the same silence at the concert like the one they get listening the Cd at their boring, Ikea styled, with fucking Beck´s filled up apartments...shame on them and vive la vie!

Flying to Spain in one hour, trying to sum up some reasoning out of this six weeks of work and alcohol as never in my life before...she is still there all around me, cannot avoid that from happening...she is there whenever a small bite of beauty comes to me, when something extraordinary happens, when something very ordinary happens, when I am happy, when I am lonely, when I think I am over and I am not...lately she comes in my dreams pretty frequently too...

She does not know that, I do not dare to ask how she is or what she is doing there..I am so scared, really really scared, man how scared I am, that she is doing great..I am scared that some days (too) soon she will be back here and show me once more she is all I would like to have from a woman...I know it is still like that, but at least there is no visual implications so far...

You say sadness, I say sure

Bad thoughts running around at night,
A sense of inappropriate emptiness,
A creeping obsession with the past,
A loss of time,
Classes not taken,
Packs of cigarettes smoked,
once more,
The silence all around,
in the office, home, on the street
a telephone ringing
but very seldom,
calls from the old same good people.
An anger sedated only by loads of drinks,
every second day, since ages.

New Stuff I Have Been Lately Listening To

Mission of Burma - Signals, Calls, and Marches
Adele - 19
The Kills - Midnight Boom
The Gutter Twins - Saturnalia
Turandot - Puccini

Spiritual - Soulsavers

Jesus, I don't wanna die alone
Jesus oh Jesus I don't wanna die alone
My love was untrue
Now all I have is you
Jesus oh Jesus I don't wanna die alone
Jesus, I don't wanna die alone
Jesus oh Jesus I don't wanna die alone
My love was untrue
Now all I have is you
Jesus oh Jesus I don't wanna die alone
Jesus, Jesus
All my trouble
All my pain
Will leave me once again alone

Is there is something wrong with me? Am I too complicated? Did I get spoiled through my own doubts and distrust of all these things lately?
It is still so fucking cold in here...

Zwischen alten und neuen Sachen fühlt sich man einsam

Love - Love
The Walkabouts - Train leaves at eight
Soulsavers - It is not how far you fall it´s the way you land
The Drones - Wait Long By The River And The Bodies Of Your Enemies Will Float By
Love - Da Capo
Stephen Malkmus - Real Emotional Trash

17th is my number

Today is March, the 17th...

1. March, the 17th 2006: I came to Berlin with luggage, a guitar and 600 euro.
2. February, the 17th 2007: I ended my European voluntary project.
3. March, the 17th 2007: I took a flight from Düsseldorf to Sydney.
4. April, the 17th 2007: I came back in Hamburg
5. November, the 17th 2007: instead of enjoying an Interpol concert, we decided to take a break.
6. February, the 17th 2008: she left Berlin for Bologna.
7. March, the 17th 2008: I am back from a two-days-trip in Hamburg and think I miss it all.

Tuesday in the Gneisenaustrasse

There have been no great news in the last period...
The best I can write is as follows:

I am going to Hamburg on Saturday morning for the week-end...unfortunately alone.
I bought a cool bicycle today: Spring is coming....
I saw Band of Horses in a club yesterday: I liked them, and my eyes got even wet a couple of times...
I am going to Spain in April for a week, by myself...
I do not like the last album by Nick Cave and the B.S....boring...
I am not going to Italy until August, fortunately.
The song "Revival" by the Soulsavers, with M. Lanegan singing is hitting my head non-stop since Saturday night...and it is cool...
I want to see a W.Allen´s movie I have not seen yet.
I deserve more good sex.
I am still in love.

The wireless internet connection for free is back!

slippery slippery slippery slope

Don't walk the plank like I did
You will be dispensed with
When you've become inconvenient
In the harrowdown hill
Where you went to school
That's where I am
That's where I'm lying down

Did I fall or was I pushed?
Did I fall or was I pushed?
And where's the blood?
And where's the blood?

I'm coming home
I'm coming home
To make it all right
So dry your eyes

We think the same things at the same time
We just cant do anything about it

So don't ask me
Ask the ministry
Don't ask me
Ask the ministry

We think the same things at the same time
There are so many of us
So you can't count

We think the same things at the same time
There are too many of us
So you can't count

Can you see me when I'm running?
Can you see me when I'm running?
Away from them

I can't take their pressure
No one cares if you live or die
They just want me gone
They want me gone

I'm coming home
I'm coming home
To make it all right
So dry your eyes

We think the same things at the same time
We just cant do anything about it

We think the same things at the same time
There are too many of us
So you can't count

It was a slippery slippery slippery slope
It was a slippery slippery slippery slope
I feel me slipping in and out of consciousness